Tomato Face.
That is what I dread about speaking in public. My face, for whatever reason, decides that when I am in front of a group of people, particularly a group that I don't know, that THIS is the best time to demonstrate its color-changing ability. Truly, this is the most appropriate moment to flaunt my little-known talent for impersonating a rather angry lobster who is about to be thrown into a pot of boiling water. Thank you face, your timing is impeccable.
For the most part, while I do not seek out situations in which I find myself addressing a crowd on a given topic, I actually do alright. When I was younger I most definitely suffered from shaking, lack of confidence, and worry from how my fellow students would evaluate me. I have gotten a lot better with more performance related presentations in particular; if any of you have ever taken the State Board test for Cosmetology, you know that if you can handle a proctor staring at you for the entire duration of a three hour practical exam, well, you can handle just about anything. For something like that where the situation is more to the effect of being evaluated while I do my own thing, I am able to go into my own space and pretend no one is watching me. Mostly.
But something that occurred to me as I read the chapter is that while public speaking and something like a cosmetology exam are arguably very similar, public speaking involves interacting with the audience. And to interact properly one cannot go into their own little world and pretend no one is watching. Well, I suppose you could, but I doubt you would interact with your audience effectively.
Some of the tips that the book gives for working your way through speech anxiety are completely new to me, and others I have heard before. I really like the idea of relabeling: "My face isn't tomato red, I am simply so excited to give this speech that my exuberance is radiating form the pores in my face! Winning!" But all in all I totally agree that changing the way that you think about something can make a huge difference.
I also thought it was interesting the way that the book advised to not clue the audience in to how nervous you are. In times past I have occasionally opened with an acknowledgement of how nervous I was, and I feel like starting off with that admission of humility allowed me to relate to my audience a bit more, and it alleviated some of the pressure I felt over the need to be perfect. But the book makes a good point in how the audience could take the opportunity to nitpick your behaviorism in order to watch your anxiety in action. Clever, clever audience.
But for the most part I thought the book had a lot of great advice. Hopefully I will be able to put it all to good use. Or rather, I look forward to practicing the techniques form the book amongst such fine classmates, as well as demonstrating my excitement in the form of exuberant face radiation. Positive thinking for the win.
We have a lot in common. I also am blessed with blushing-- such an unfair way your body tells everyone how you are feeling! I am also an esthetician, and had to perform the things I learned in school in front of a board for my licensing exam. I had not considered that yet as a situation to compare to public speaking. I also liked relabeling. I believe a lot of what we perceive has to do with how we are labeling it in our minds-- negative or positive. I had never thought to take the nervous energy and channel it into enthusiasm for my subject. I think it is also important to keep in mind that your audience is much less aware of your internal state than you are. You mentioned admitting that you are nervous to your audience, and I can see that if a speaker said that I would look to see if I could tell that they were that nervous. Its much better to keep it inside, make it positive, and reroute the anxiety into confident speaking. Hopefully these new skills will help us not glow red!
ReplyDeleteI think that we are all nervous in the beginning when speaking with just one person for the first time, so speaking to a group of people can be nerve wrecking. I have not mastered public speaking but I do like to speak in front of people and I commend you for take the cosmetology state board. I haven’t taken it but I have heard that the proctor is the deciding point whether you cry or not. I wish you luck on all the speeches that we will be doing over this semester and my advice is to always picture the people that you are speaking to in their underwear and that will break the ice, only for you though. GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SPEECHES.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate with the fact that all of the surface blood vessels decide to show themselves under intense situations. For me, not only does my face get red, but my neck and chest get super blotchy. Its not just when I give speeches either. Even if I am having to take a confrontational stand with a close friend, or get irritated with a situation, my skin decides to tell off on me. One of the many pleasures of being fair-skinned.
ReplyDeleteAs I feel my face flare up, I have learned to become aware of it and take deep breaths. This helps the blood and oxygen flow and my body relaxes not thinking about the fact that it is trying to work against me.